Read more - Working on it.
Find a job - Overcome terror
Overcome terror - I just don't know yet. Unfamiliar still makes me freak.
Get to sleep - Quitting WoW will help, but I still lack the urge to take my pill at a proper time
Wake up - see above
Save the world without really trying - that's cake by comparison
Get rid of the voices and noises - We're just here to help

I'm baaack.

Haven't fallen back asleep since waking at 5. Listening to the Zeppelin Reunion DVD bootleg. Going to attempt a nap. Going to attempt a lot of things. Here's hoping at least one of them works.

I'm writing this from the new apartment. I'll have to post pictures soon. It's nice to feel at home somewhere again. Boxes are still everywhere. Stuff is kind of everywhere but it's an organized(semi) everywhere. I love it here. Things feel good.

I'd just like to explain the fact that I can't figure out how to change my title. I blame a bad joke that went too far, too much PSO, and the fact that it was multiple years ago. In other words, do not judge for the sin of the past.

Had some time to kill this afternoon in between matches and after lunch with my parents. Decided to go and do a bit of shopping. No reason, just felt like it.

for some reason I feel compelled to use this one again. It's like other places have lost a great deal of appeal, that feeling isn't there anymore. I can understand part of it but not all. That says a lot about what's going through my head at the moment, I feel very confused, there's a lot of information circling around with very little of it making sense. At least I'm not allowing myself to make any sense of it, I don't think that I can put any order to any of it in a manner that will be constructive. Hope, want, need, and reality are all chiming in, and I am in no state to judge whose contribution is worth meriting. I was just shown a movie that did a hell of a lot to me. It said many things, made me realize even more, and scared the shit out of me. I'm not going to do anything about it. I can't. I won't. I'm not in a position to make any kind of choices for myself.

Yeah, this site is dead. myspace.com/goj

I'm sitting in the terminal at LAX right now, waiting on the connecting flight to show up. The air is still awful and dirty, and it just seems like it's a nasty place. I never did like it here. We get to the hotel right as the basketball game is starting tonight, for once the time change works in our favor.

It's 3 am. I can't sleep. I'm so nervous, I'm in a panic. I end a chapter of my life in 12 hours. I know it's good and right, but I can't help but be scared. It's going to feel so weird to luck down and see a ring on my hand. I wonder if it'll feel weird to hold a controller or a sttick with something blocking the grip. I don't dare drink it's getting too close. We went out tonight, everyone, played some pool badly and drank a bit. It just tastes like shit, I don't understand why it's so popular. I'm sure the feling is good, but I'll skip the necessary step. Shame other options are looked down upon, they're so much simpler. Mind altering substances are a good thing. What's the criteria for vh1 divas now? Joss Stone? She has a decent single and a decent look. They're kinda desparate it seems. I'm so tired, I just can't sleep. Tv is shit at this time of night, and I don't want to play any more onimusha because my eyes are tired. Why am I so scared? I feel like an emotional wreck. Here goes nothing.

Wheee. Been a while since posting. since then I've been fired from work for amonth, I now have 2 jobs. I get married in less than 2 months, and I'm getting kinda scared, as well as possibly having to get new groomsmen. Randal and Dick meet Fez and Abee. Tonight was the BNL concert in Orlando. Damn that was awesome. Old Apartment rocked the house, they were just on it all night. Shame the last album kinda sucked. All my people, where have you been?

Dick returns next Monday, still no sign from the tall fucker down south. I've got a new cell finally, which means I'm on AIM almost all the time now, never have seen him on. Now that I'm a more-independent person we can get some interesting shit going down. Dick, being the car junkie I know you are, I have something for you to play around with. It's nice to actually have a cell again, even though it'll cost out the nose. 29.99 a month unlimited data/ 20 cents a minute voice. Which means none of you get the number unless it's actually needed, that's what the internet is for.


The others did it, I suppose I will too.

1. Are you male or female?: Mofo

2. Describe yourself: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For; Stuck In a Moment; Desire

3. How do some people feel about you?: Silver and Gold; All I Want Is You

4. How do you feel about yourself?: In a Little While; Do You Feel Loved?; Running to Stand Still

5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Sweetest Thing

6. Where would you rather be?: Another Time, Another Place

7. Describe what you want to be: The Electric Co

8. Describe how you live: Please; Elevation

9. Describe how you love: Unforgettable Fire, I Will Follow

10. Share a few words of wisdom: Love is Blindness

I'm getting married. I haven't found you people to tell, not to mention a tall fucker down south, but yes, I am engaged now.

I did it. Didn't need your opinion Ro, I just went ahead and brought it out, and everything went well. I guess I;m officially out of the big dance, Now the real question - Am I fucking insane or is this actually the right idea?

I'm feeling much better about myself lately. Despite the fact I've been spending money again. Bought myself a NeoGeo Pocket Color last week and a few games, and am buying another one plus accessories from eBay. As well as a jersey for my dad's bday, a ring, some NGPC games all online, the Outkast CD today, and hopefully not much more for a while. I just got done doing 2 weeks worth of WinXp homework, only took 45 minutes. Gimme a challenge, people. I miss for 2 weeks, tomorrow will hopefully be my first day back. I have done a little fibbing, I've missed way too many classes for what I'm paying them. Hardware and Cisco1 are cool, the professor is really good. I learned today that I don't have any talent for making network cables. It's a good feeling being back on a campus, I missed it. I bought the NeoGeo for use on my lunch hour Tues-Thurs. I finish eating and bust out some Fatal Fury or Capcom vs SNK or good ol' Samurai Showdown 2 and enjoy my break. I got some overlookers today while I was playing CvS, I think people are really surprised to see a handheld that doesn't say Nintendo on it. I hope to leave the home soon, I just need to figure a way to talk to my parents that doesn't piss them off, and let's them think they're still in the loop somehow. I have a package hidden right now that would/will lead to a whole new world once it comes out of hiding - I just have to talk to a few people first.

Semagic reestablished. Hockey time.

High school isn’t the best time of your life. We all know that by now. What we don’t realize is that it gets that label by being the last time in your life where you’re basically guaranteed to have at least one friendly face to see. Once everyone leaves, they realize how many assholes are in the world and how lucky they were to have those friends. I sit here tonight alone, wondering about what has been and what will be. I’m trying to stick to my self-promise that I won’t think so much about the might have beens, those thoughts just never go anywhere productive. I’ve made it, at least in the good old American way, I think. I’m in an apartment full of stuff, mildly clever, mildly homey, sharing it with a career woman. Ok, the roles might be slightly reversed, but I don’t care about that. I sit here alone and wonder why I can’t find anyone. Sure there’s people online who I count as my friends (Mojo, Gouji, the collective of T14) , but I can’t call them up and go hang out. Even when the few friends I do have left are in town, I can’t make time to go hang out, even though it was one of the best times I have had all year. I feel like I’m back in my dorm. I’ve been eating like shit lately, and I’m feeling my energy levels going down. Fruits and veggies are good, must remember to find some. Sugar, meat, and bread don’t cut it. I think I’m going to go on another caffeine purge, and I need to start making myself go to sleep at decent hours. I used to be dead tired by 11, now I can’t fall asleep by 3 usually. If I do get tired, there’s always a reason to stay up (right now, I would just go off to bed, but I’m waiting up for her to get home. Yes, it’s only 10, but it’s healthy). I rely on her for so much, it just doesn’t seem fair. She’s my ticket out of my house, away from my parents, who I know mean well, but I will never get any better if I don’t get away. I could stay there, but I would not develop any as a person, and would have no idea how to actually get out once another opportunity arose. I can feel the good inside of me, waiting to come out. She really is the best thing to happen to me, to pick me up from my bad times, and remind me what a good time is. She puts up with me, endures the moods, the fits, and all the odd shit I do that any sane person would put me out on the curb for (and a few nuts, Miss J that would be you) and she holds onto me, refusing to let go, It’s just right. This thing I know that I’ve done right, I was in the right place at the right time. I just wonder for something so right, for something that seems like it’s just what I want, why do I feel so empty?

http://www.gunbound.net/default.asp

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Anyone got an inside track for getting me a new job? I hate my current one more and more each day, and the uncertainty of how much I'll be getting paid week to week is getting annoying. Elaine Groesbeck you ignorant fool. I have no idea why you don't know why nearly everyone hates you.

Finished my technical work for the night, I still don't quite know what I'm doing wrong. Good news is I have Hulk and Batman Dead End watchable, ng's supposedly functionng to get me Futurama before it's even out, and I have a fully opened SC2 file. It's nice being able to worry and deal with trivium, unlike some people I know who work 60 hour weeks. I'm just not that devoted, especially at this point in life. Give me an interesting job and maybe, but not this hell.

Birthday is soon, number 21. Anyone have any ideas they'd like to execute? I did get the night off, but I work in the morning. Idiots. If nothing does materialize, I'll probably just throw myself to the Fools, if we're all still here. Otherwise, I'll have to make some calls.

Modded boxes make so much more fun. Soul Calibur 2. Month and a half early. I'm set for a while.